FORGET ABOUT IT

An elderly husband and wife visit their doctor when they begin forgetting little things. Their doctor tells them that many people find...

BET'S A BET

A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brook...

BLONDE IN SHOE SHOP

A blonde walked into a shoe shop and saw a pair of shoes made from alligator skin that she liked. “How much for these shoes?” – she as...

I JUST GOT THE FIRST JOKE

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all die. In order to get into heaven though, they must go up 100 steps, each containing a joke. ...

MORAL OF STORY

One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of ...

MY WIFE'S HEARING ISN'T AS GOOD AS IT USED TO BE.

A man goes to his doctor and says, "I don't think my wife's hearing isn't as good as it used to be. What should I do?...

CARROT

Q: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? A: Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses? Doctor Jokes Dirty...

LAWYER WAKING UP FROM ANESTESIA

A lawyer was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, ...

YOU LOOK FAT

Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" Husband: "You have perfect eyesight." Doctor Jokes Di...

FORMULA FOR WATER

Teacher: What is the formula for water? Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But yo...

I'AM A LIGHT BULB

Two factory workers talking: Woman: “I can make the boss give me the day off.” Man: “And how would you do that?” Woman: “Just wait an...

Applying For A Job

There are three people applying for the same job. One is a mathematician, one a statistician, and one an accountant. The interviewing...

HUMAN BODY

The teacher asks, "Flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?" Flora blushes and says, "That...

HER FAMILY

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies bec...

PASSWORD OF COMPUTER

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls ...

OLD MAN SPERM COUNT JOKE

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.  The doctor gave the man a jar and said, ...

PLAY A FUN GAME WITH BLONDE

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The...

IT'S DARK HERE

A woman and her lover are in the house while the husband is at work. Her nine year old son comes in, and after seeing them making love he ...

WOMAN WITHOUT HER MAN IS NOTHING

It's all in the punctuation: An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard an...

DIFFERENCE OF SURGEON AND MECHANIC

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. ...

MASCULINE AND FEMININE IN SPANISH

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. ...

SHOW THE TOOTH

A husband and wife entered the dentist's room. He said, "I want a tooth pulled. We are in a hurry - so no Novocain or gas. J...

MENTALLY STABLE

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly ju...

I Fart All The Time

An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, b...

TO EXPLAIN IT TO BLONDE

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting...

TO FLATTEN TUMMY OUT

One night a little girl walks in on her parents having sex. The mother is going up and down on the father and when she sees her daughter ...

DESCRIBING WIFE

Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: ...

Breast Feeding Joke

A blonde woman is walking down the street, with her blouse open. A cop is approaching from about a block away, thinking, "Boy, my...

WRONG HOLE

A California business man, while in Japan for some business meetings and a few rounds of golf, arrived in Tokyo a day earlier than e...